repressed normality

11.03.2006

i am irritable

most of the time, i think. i'm annoyed by grammatical errors, except for errors in capitalization, which i hardly follow anyway, but with everything else in general. i'm annoyed with overbearing parents, overkind-to-female-students teachers, oversensitive females, and a host of other things which i can't be bothered to remember.

this isn't really indicative of my nature, since i hardly show my irritation anyway, until provoked or until i can't keep it in anymore, in which it seeps out through small corners of my personality. unfortunately, the targets of these lapses are those people who actually engage me in conversation, which happens to be my friends. i know they deserve better but sometimes it just spurts out as some kind of direct attack at them. its not all that serious, and i didn't mean anything by it, its just letting off steam.

of course, the main thing that really gets me boiling is being accused of something i didn't do. especially when what i said is misconstrued to be something else. sometimes i speak in double entrendees as a joke, but sometimes i'm just saying what comes to mind without thinking of how else it could be interpreted. maybe i really should pay attention, but my head's been hurting for the past month and that's making me waspish. if you'll put it against me then fine, i can take a little hatred going my way, since my life is sadly lacking in any passion or emotion, so a bit of hate would be welcome too. of course i'd much prefer passionate love, but in the absence of it i'll take any emotion i can get.

living vicariously through other people has its benefits too.

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