extended laziness

periods where you are left all alone to your own devices tend to show you who you really are. its always different when there's an authority figure that keeps track of your every move than when there's no one else around. on the other hand, its also a different story when there IS someone else around who's relatively in the same position as you are.

2 weeks ago my parents left for hk for 5 days, in which 3 of those days were work days. so basically i was alone in the office with my sister, who's recently graduated and 'helping out' in minding the office. now this wasn't the first time that this situation was thrust on me, but it was the first time that i had my sister along for the ride. predictably, almost any drive for work i had went out the window when monday rolled around. so except for the very basic neccesities, we basically lounged around. and it struck me how different it was when i was in the same situation all alone. its as if having someone else around who could potentially do my work along with me made me lose all interest in working. bad news is, the feeling still hasn't left me, 2 week after my parents have returned already. so i spend my days unproductively encoding some stuff while watching Scrubs on the side, or chatting, or making excuses like walking the dog.

i really need a life, not the pretend one i seem to be living through but a life where i actually go and do something that i should. not that i shouldn't be working in my parent's office, but that i should be working on something that i actually feel like doing and doing it well.

on the other hand my head seems to be so full that i'm having 'helmet' sensations, where it feels like i'm wearing a tight helmet on my head and its cramping my brain. i don't know if its a full blown migraine or whatnot, but its a weird feeling, its not painful or anything, just weird. i asked around and a friend of mine said it could be stress related, but with my current lifestyle, it seems highly unlikely, since that lifestyle consists of sitting down behind my desk and trying to look busy.