on dreams and passions

mom's been regalling me with stories about the daughter of one of our suppliers, who has been hired by a major american bank and is now earning $150 an hour, after only a month or so in the company. it's probably an extension of her motive of making me jobhunt every single company on the face of the earth, which isn't really a bad thing, God knows i've been wanting out of the family office ever since i started here.

the main obstacle has always been that i don't know what i want to do. sure there are some things i'm good at, unfortunately, they're mostly unquantifiable and unsellable(is this a word) skills. like writing in a sarcastic sort of tone, fixing computer problems through sheer trial and error, making the occasional paragraph for a friend's thesis, playing computer games, wallowing in glorious self-pity, having 1 single good photo out of hundreds of mediocre ones, stuff like that. i also have pretty good city driving skills(which would make me a suitable taxi driver, except i only have specific areas that i'm good at).

if college is any indication, i have little to no aptitude for programming, have less than considerable artistic inclination, am terribly indecisive, hardly a leader, and have little interpersonal skills, which means that an honest resume would ensure that no PR department of any major international company would even remotely consider me as a potential applicant, except for that teeny fact that i graduated from one of the top universities(according to local standards, i don't think my school is recognized internationally).

sigh, i have the urge to write one of these self-pitying articles whenever i'm pushed to look for a job. of course, the fact that no one can really refute these claims means that i will probably be stuck in this hellhole for the rest of my life, barring financial ruin or riches(which i doubt since aforementioned qualities make it highly unlikely that i would succeed if ever this office becomes mine).